Magician Modi

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For many, Narendra Damodardas Modi was not a man – he was the 10th Avatar of Lord Vishnu in the age of Kalyug, as believed in Hindu mythology. He would be able to transform India in just three to four years, and get rid of all the evils of the “system” he inherited, a system that had seen corrosion for 67 long years.
Of course Magic Modi would cleanse India of all corruption, including at the level of municipalities or Gram Panchayats/villages, whether or not the jurisdiction is of the Central Government or State Governments – didn’t Amitabh Bachchan and Rajanikanth show how to do this in their movies?
The man with the 56” chest would wipe out Pakistan from the map of the earth, maybe with Sunny Deol’s or Saif Ali Khan’s help; otherwise he could at least ensure that the Pakistani Army and their spy agency ISI stop aiding/abetting all terrorism activities against India and Katrina Kaif could be enrolled to help with this task. He wouldn’t just kill 602 terrorists in four years but 6020, even though UPA-2 killed just 471 in their last four years.
The man from Gujarat, who never dealt with this subject in his career before becoming Prime Minister, would end the 67-year old problem in Jammu & Kashmir, after all Sanjay Dutt, Hrithik Roshan, Preity Zinta, Sonali Kulkarni and Jackie Shroff have not been on a Mission Kashmir for 18 long years.
Wasn’t Modi expected to reform all the ills of the caste-based Reservation System within his first year in office.
After all, this could be very simple, as filmmaker Prakash Jha could be assigned the job, with a task force comprising Amitabh Bachchan (he of course will do anything for Modi without charging a fee), Saif Ali Khan (Hmmm, wait, don’t Sanghis hate Taimur’s Dad?), Manoj Bajpayee (name matches that of the first BJP Prime Minister though spelling may be different, Deepika Padukone (MAYBE NOT, considering Padmaavat) and Prateik Babbar (wait, isn’t his dad a Congressi?).
Magic Modi would end the alleged corruption in the Indian Judiciary (not that I’m personally aware of any), and also ensure that all the crores of court cases which have been pending for years, got disposed-off in a few months, or at least in four years. How did it matter if the judiciary in our country is not answerable to the Prime Minister?
This demi-God would stop all farmer suicides, whatever the cause, and also ensure that farmers get very high prices for their crops without increasing the prices paid by urban consumers.
The chaiwala from Gujarat, understanding cost of living as he did, halve the prices of every commodity used by the common man, after understanding from his good friend Mukesh Ambani how he did it with Reliance JIO.
Economist Modi would increase India’s GDP growth to 10% or more, regardless of the fact that reckless lending during UPA was to the tune of ₹34 lakh crores in just six years (almost double of the total bank loans in 128 years prior to that), and which screwed up the entire banking system and the economy; but wait, how could Modi do this without having Sanjay Jha as Finance Minister and PR professional Rajiv Desai as the Chief Economic Advisor?
Magic Modi would abolish the caste system (or caste-based disputes/violence) altogether (TV panellist Alimuddin Khan can be consulted on this).
The least Modi was expected to do was to build a Ram Mandir at he disputed Ram Janmabhoomi site in Ayodhya, despite the “legal” matter being stuck in the Supreme Court for decades (who cares for the Law, anyways?).
Of course Modi would transform the entire “rotting” education system of India, including changing all of the biased syllabi from the Nehru-Indira era.
Wasn’t the 56” chested Modi expected to put Madam Sonia Gandhi, her illustrious son-in-law Robert Vadra, her puppet Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh, her favoured Finance Minister P Chidambaram, Virbhadra Singh, and all others accused of any kind of scam in the past few years, in Jail, without any sanction by the courts, which do not work under the diktat of the Prime Minister or the Government? Lalu Prasad Yadav and Sasikala do not count.
Magic Modi was supposed to ensure that no one opposes any films made by liberal filmmakers such as Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Karan Johar, etc. – in other words, he should have declared Emergency in the country, once again.
The astute financial wizard that Modi was supposed to be, he was expected to reduce individual Income Tax to 10% for everyone or even abolish it altogether, by making the world’s greatest economist Dr. Subramanian Swamy (see the fourth paragraph of the chapter in this book titled “The Vajpayee Era”) the Finance Minister, in place of an ordinary lawyer by the name of Arun Jaitley.
What’s the issue anyways with Modi favouring individuals with four letter words starting with “A”, including Amit (Shah) and Ajit (Doval), apart from Arun (Jaitley)?
Undoubtedly, as the Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi would definitely ensure that all Chief Ministers in all BJP (or NDA ally) ruled states are as good as him (Modi) or his work (haven’t you heard of cloning & DNA mapping?).


Magic Modi was expected to give all the 50,000 to 75,000 volunteers of the 2013-14 election campaign, posts in the Indian Government or Indian Embassies abroad, or the BJP Party or maybe even UN/UNICEF/UNESCO – after all they gave Modi huge Birthday gifts in 2014 (more than four months before his birthday), so each one of them rightfully expect a return gift. He has not even bothered to follow them on Twitter.
He would, of course, create millions of jobs, regardless of technological advances (such as AI and other factors) leading to job losses globally. After all, why can’t Magic Modi do this by convincing his good friend Sundar Pichai to stop all Google R&D for the sake of his home country

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